I rebooted into safe mode, disabled the firewall, and the internet roared back to life. So the problem wasn’t the network. It was the firewall itself. But why? I hadn’t changed any rules. I hadn’t installed new security software. It was the same basic Windows Defender Firewall I’d ignored for three years.
The third line: “SHE WILL COME BACK IF YOU DO.” why is my firewall blocking everything
I ran a rootkit scan. Nothing. Malwarebytes: clean. System file checker: no integrity violations. So it wasn't a virus. It was something stranger. I rebooted into safe mode, disabled the firewall,