V45 Best — Unaware In The City

V45 Best — Unaware In The City

You wake up, and the first thing you notice is that you don’t remember falling asleep. This is not unusual. What is unusual is the quality of the light — a flat, mercury-vapor gray that pushes through the blinds like it has no interest in being beautiful. You rise. You brush your teeth. You check your phone. Forty-seven notifications, none of them for you. Not really. Algorithms have learned your name, but they’ve learned it the way a parrot learns a slur — with no understanding, only mimicry.

You walk to the train. Above ground, a billboard cycles through three ads: a perfume that smells like “nothing you’ve ever known,” a bank that promises to treat you like a person (as if persons are what they want), and a streaming series about a detective who solves murders by feeling the emotions of the victims. You think about that for a moment — the privatization of empathy — and then the train arrives, and you forget. unaware in the city v45

At 11:47 PM, you turn off the light. The city does not turn off with you. Outside, sirens practice their scales. A couple argues on the sidewalk — something about a key, something about a text you will never read. A train passes three blocks away, full of people returning from places you will never go. You lie in the dark and try to remember the last time you were truly aware. Not of your phone. Not of your to-do list. Not of the news. But aware — fully, stupidly, painfully aware — of something small. A crack in a wall. A stranger’s laugh. The way light pools on a wet street after rain. You wake up, and the first thing you

After work, you wander. This is the part of the day the algorithm calls “leisure,” though it feels more like a pause between anxieties. You walk past a bookstore with a display of novels about people who fall in love in small towns. You walk past a gym where people run on machines that go nowhere. You walk past a man sitting on a milk crate, holding a sign that says, “I was unaware too. Then I looked up.” You look up. There is a pigeon on a fire escape. The pigeon is unaware of you. You are unaware of the pigeon. The man on the milk crate laughs, but the laugh is not for you. It is for someone who passed by ten minutes ago. You are already late for that laugh. You rise

Outside, the city has already decided what kind of day it will be. The coffee shop on the corner is playing lo-fi beats that loop every ninety seconds. The barista, whose name tag reads “Jesse” but whose eyes say something else entirely, hands you a flat white without being asked. You thank them. They nod. Neither of you means it. This is the contract of the unaware: civility without curiosity.

Evening comes the way it always does — not as a sunset but as a dimming of screens. You return to your apartment. The walls are beige. The bed is unmade. You pick up your phone again. You scroll. A friend has posted a photo of a mountain. Another friend has posted a quote about being present. A stranger has posted a video of a cat falling off a chair. You watch the cat three times. It falls the same way each time. You laugh the same way each time. This is not tragedy. This is not comedy. This is the background hum of a life that has confused proximity with connection.

Tomorrow, the barista will hand you a flat white. The train will brake. The pigeon will not care. But maybe — just maybe — you will notice the thing you almost noticed today. The child at the window. The blue in the sky. The man on the milk crate, whose sign now reads, “Still unaware. Still here. Still asking.”

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You wake up, and the first thing you notice is that you don’t remember falling asleep. This is not unusual. What is unusual is the quality of the light — a flat, mercury-vapor gray that pushes through the blinds like it has no interest in being beautiful. You rise. You brush your teeth. You check your phone. Forty-seven notifications, none of them for you. Not really. Algorithms have learned your name, but they’ve learned it the way a parrot learns a slur — with no understanding, only mimicry.

You walk to the train. Above ground, a billboard cycles through three ads: a perfume that smells like “nothing you’ve ever known,” a bank that promises to treat you like a person (as if persons are what they want), and a streaming series about a detective who solves murders by feeling the emotions of the victims. You think about that for a moment — the privatization of empathy — and then the train arrives, and you forget.

At 11:47 PM, you turn off the light. The city does not turn off with you. Outside, sirens practice their scales. A couple argues on the sidewalk — something about a key, something about a text you will never read. A train passes three blocks away, full of people returning from places you will never go. You lie in the dark and try to remember the last time you were truly aware. Not of your phone. Not of your to-do list. Not of the news. But aware — fully, stupidly, painfully aware — of something small. A crack in a wall. A stranger’s laugh. The way light pools on a wet street after rain.

After work, you wander. This is the part of the day the algorithm calls “leisure,” though it feels more like a pause between anxieties. You walk past a bookstore with a display of novels about people who fall in love in small towns. You walk past a gym where people run on machines that go nowhere. You walk past a man sitting on a milk crate, holding a sign that says, “I was unaware too. Then I looked up.” You look up. There is a pigeon on a fire escape. The pigeon is unaware of you. You are unaware of the pigeon. The man on the milk crate laughs, but the laugh is not for you. It is for someone who passed by ten minutes ago. You are already late for that laugh.

Outside, the city has already decided what kind of day it will be. The coffee shop on the corner is playing lo-fi beats that loop every ninety seconds. The barista, whose name tag reads “Jesse” but whose eyes say something else entirely, hands you a flat white without being asked. You thank them. They nod. Neither of you means it. This is the contract of the unaware: civility without curiosity.

Evening comes the way it always does — not as a sunset but as a dimming of screens. You return to your apartment. The walls are beige. The bed is unmade. You pick up your phone again. You scroll. A friend has posted a photo of a mountain. Another friend has posted a quote about being present. A stranger has posted a video of a cat falling off a chair. You watch the cat three times. It falls the same way each time. You laugh the same way each time. This is not tragedy. This is not comedy. This is the background hum of a life that has confused proximity with connection.

Tomorrow, the barista will hand you a flat white. The train will brake. The pigeon will not care. But maybe — just maybe — you will notice the thing you almost noticed today. The child at the window. The blue in the sky. The man on the milk crate, whose sign now reads, “Still unaware. Still here. Still asking.”

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