Oh no! Oh my! What a terrible pickle! I’ve squished him! I’ve smooshed him! Like a sad purple nickel! I must run away to a cave full of noodles! (He runs. JULIET is sad.)
THE SEUSSIFICATION OF ROMEO AND JULIET
You kids want to marry? Well, how about that? I’ll mix you a potion from a smoozled old bat! One sip makes you sleepy. Two sips makes you snore. Three sips makes your toenails grow right through the floor! (SCENE FOUR: The BIG MESS. A fight. Then a bigger mess.) the seussification of romeo and juliet script
She’s dead! My Gazelle-ette! My Zazz-Frazzle-Zoo! Well, I’ll just drink poison and be dead with you too! (He drinks a bottle labeled “POISON – Tastes Like Glue.” He falls over.) I’ve squished him
A Happily-Ever-After-ish Tale of Two Who-zits and a Whole Lot of Nonsense I must run away to a cave full of noodles
Oh, Julie-Gazz-Jilly! My Fizz-Fuzzle-Foo! I’d climb seventeen ladders to give you a shoe! JULIET-GAZZ: Don’t swear by the moon, that old cheese-bally sphere! It changes its shape every week of the year! Swear by your ridiculous hat, if you please. That hat is much sillier. Swear by the fuzz on your knees! ROMEO-ZOOT: I swear by my kneefuzz! I swear by my nose! I swear by the lint that collects in my toes! (FRIAR LAWRENCE-KNOX hops in, carrying a pot.)
A plague! A big plague! On both of your houses! May your pillows be lumpy! May your cows moo like mouses! I’m done for! I’m finished! I’ve stepped on a rake! Goodbye! I’m off to make glittery cake. (He exits, carried away by birds. ROMEO fights TYBALT. TYBALT falls.)