Quackprep.org

Below is a feature piece for . Headline: New Study Finds That Staring at a Practice Test for 14 Hours Straight is ‘Technically’ a Form of Studying

As "QuackPrep.org" implies a satirical or critical take on the test prep industry (mocking "cram school" culture and the over-commercialization of education), I have written an article in that distinct voice. quackprep.org

– In a groundbreaking report that has rattled the foundations of both the education system and the caffeine industry, QuackPrep’s dubious research division has confirmed what desperate parents have been praying for: Marathon, sleep-deprived, soul-crushing study sessions are marginally better than doing absolutely nothing. Below is a feature piece for

QuackPrep is so confident in our ability to mildly inconvenience you that we offer our signature Double Duck Guarantee : If your score does not go up by at least 200 points, we will double your study hours for free. You lose? No, you lose . QuackPrep is so confident in our ability to

“We took 200 anxious juniors, locked them in a windowless library with the faint smell of stale pizza, and forced them to cycle through the same 50 geometry problems until their eyes bled pixels,” said Dr. I.M. Fakingit, QuackPrep’s Chief Quackery Officer. “After 14 hours, they couldn’t tell you their own names, but they could tell you that the hypotenuse is, in fact, the long one. That’s a win in our book.”

QuackPrep’s Annual “Burnout Index” reveals that students who pay for 10,000 practice questions score 3% higher than students who just guess ‘C’ on everything.