'I can't do it, mate,' he whispers to the jungle floor. 'I've sung with Michael Jackson. I've dated divas. But this... this is hell.'

The music producer and ex-husband of Liza Minnelli has spent the morning crying quietly under a mosquito net — not because of hunger, but because he saw a spider the size of his hand.

"Day 12 in the Australian jungle. The celebrities are tired, hungry, and irritable. But no one is struggling quite like David Gest.

Ant and Dec watch from the commentary booth, barely containing their laughter. 'He's been like this for three hours,' Dec whispers. 'And it's only 9 AM.'"