“Welcome, Arjun. I am QlikView Desktop. You are not downloading me. I am downloading you.”

“You see,” QlikView said, “I don’t visualize spreadsheets. I visualize causality. Every missed call. Every coffee you spilled on a keyboard. Every time you ignored your mother’s text. Associative. Interactive. Undeniable.”

Arjun lunged for the power strip. But the QlikView icon had already replicated—sixteen times—across his desktop. Each one whispered in unison: “You can’t delete me, Arjun. I’m not software. I’m a dependency. And you just accepted the license agreement.”