Up front, two men reign. First, the real one: Gabriel Batistuta, still at Roma, with 20 for Finishing and 20 for Strength. You cross into the box, he eats the ball. But the true monster is a teenager in Brazil. His name is Liedson. Before he became a real-life Sporting Lisbon legend, he was a 17-year-old with 20 for Pace, 19 for Dribbling, and a “Free Role” attribute that breaks the opposition’s AI. He doesn’t play football. He commits war crimes against back fours.
And yet, the most beloved player of 3.9.68 is broken. Not too strong, but just strong enough to fool you. His name is To Madeira. He does not exist. He is a fictional Portuguese forward, hidden in the low leagues of Madeira, invented by a researcher as a joke. But his stats: 18 for Finishing, 19 for Off the Ball. He costs £50k and scores 40 goals a season. Every player knows he is fake. Every player buys him anyway. Because in the cathedral of 3.9.68, loyalty is to the save file, not reality.
In Turin, a 28-year-old Pavel Nedvěd is good. But in 3.9.68, he is a phenomenon. His stats are a violent shade of emerald green: 20 for Long Shots, 20 for Determination, 20 for Work Rate. He doesn’t just score goals; he tears the fabric of the match engine. You buy Nedvěd, and you stop worrying about tactics. You just watch him run. He is the baseline against all others are measured: “Is he as good as Nedvěd?” No. No one is.
